Do You Know What Day It Is?
by Neko-chan WE3
Summary: Tsunade's calender got a little off and the poor woman gets so confused because of it. Written in honor of Mother's Day. Crack.


Tsunade was used to getting chocolates, she was coming to expect them at this point. Barely a week went by without an expensive box ending up on her desk, usually accompanied by a letter declaring undying love for her or a poor nin stumbling through a confession or asking her on a date. Depending on her mood (and levels of blood alcohol) she has let these poor saps down easily, let them down hard, shamelessly flirted until they passed out from blood loss, and occasionally outright laughed in their faces. But with all the different scenarios Tsunade has had to deal with, she never once imagined that she would ever have to deal with this.

Naruto had shuffled his way into her office that morning, nervously fiddling with his hands behind his back and blushing like no tomorrow. It was amusing, Tsunade assumed that he had pulled another one of his infamous pranks and whoever he had pissed off had sent him to her for punishment. "What did you do this time brat?" Tsunade smirked at his obvious discomfort and leaned back in her chair. Naruto shuffled forward a little bit more and clunked something on her desk.

She glanced at it, froze, did a double take, and felt everything she new about the world crumble, leaving a few bodies twitching and screaming in horrified pain in the rubble. She breathed deep and closed her eyes, praying to everything holy and all powerful that when she opened then it would NOT. BE. THERE. ANYMORE. She opened her eyes and, yep, it was still there. "Naruto, what is this." The hyperactive blond looked like a tomato and Tsunade really hoped she could do some damn good damage control.

"Well…" Naruto was now doing his best Hinata impression, fiddling with his fingers and talking very, very quietly. "I'm too young to buy sake and I can't afford the expensive stuff and I'm don't have wrapping paper and doyounowhowmuchflowerscostand" Tsunade held up her hand to stop the rushed flow of words. "No Naruto what is this," she tapped the box of, lets face it, crappy dime-store chocolates with some flowers that looked like they had been stolen from random gardens on his way here and all tied together with a piece of nin-wire, "doing on my desk."

"It…it's mothers day, I just thought…" Naruto wilted into a little kicked puppy of a person.

Tsunade suddenly had one of those _moments_, where everything went warm and fuzzy and absolutely sparkled. Then she realized that Naruto was still babbling and slowly inching towards the door. He was saying something along the lines of an apology and desperately trying to force away the tears collecting in his eyes. Tsunade stood up from her chair and walked over to the mildly panicking boy feeling as if the sparkles floating in the room were trying to drown her. She wrapped her arms around his small form, some little part of her mind that wasn't being suffocated by the warm fluffies told her that he would need to be fattened up a bit.

Naruto stiffened up in Tsunade's arms before making an odd choked sound and almost crushed her in an enthusiastic hug. There was some general crooning and some nuzzling before that detached part of Tsunade's mind decided that it was about time to dedicate a few hours of manpower to finding out where all those damn sparkles came from, maybe she could put Gai on the case…

After a few more seconds Shizune cautiously spoke up, "Tsunade-hime, you should really get back to work." She winced at the twin glares she received. "Come on Shizune-nee, I've never had a mother figure before! Give me a few more minutes!" There was more cuddling involved. Later, after Naruto's complaining of cracking ribs ended the hug and Tsunade had finished sappily mocking the little blond Shizune managed to convince Tsunade to get back to her paperwork and Naruto went running off somewhere, probably to mooch some ramen off of Iruka.

Tsunade sat down at her desk feeling very satisfied with the day. She hummed as she opened the little box of crappy dime-store chocolate and carefully bit into one. As she savored the taste of what was quite possibly the worst chocolate she had ever tasted in her life an odd, mildly traumatizing, thought occurred to her '_If I'm the mother, does that make Jiraiya the father?_'

She laughed long and hard at the image that supplied of Father's Day.


End file.
